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Players of the
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6th May |
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New Mills Vets
5 a side
football at the
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Click above to view the Vets Hall of Fame. Email me your nomination to be included. Latest New Entrant -
John Brooke Keep up with past reports in the excellent Vets Archives
Check Out Paulo's Mid
Week
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More of The Vets Sunday Night Match Reports
Updated 6th May 2012 : 22:32
Print Page
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Sunday 1st January 2012 : Another year goes by and
as we haven't a game this week I thought I'd do the traditional
thing when you've nothing to say and take a look back at some of the
past years of Vets footy. Ten years ago Gary Sharpe scored the first
goal of the New Year in what was a very quiet opening after the
seasonal festivities. But, we were back to normal the following week
with Bryn Meredith, Scouse Ron and John Goodwin in the same team the
fan was bound to get hit by the shit as they say. John set about the
opposition like a combined harvester mowing down everyone in sight
and Bryn welcomed Roger back with a fair old dig in the ribs and
then Ron gave an exhibition of refereeing to rival Stevie Wonder. In
this same year Bryn had a vasectomy and we turned out our first over
50's 5 a side team. In 2002, World Cup year, the Roy Keane situation
was the main topic of conversation among the vets as world cup fever
began to build. The consensus of opinion was the fact that if Roy
Keane was sent home for a foul mouthed and abusive attack on Mick
McCarthy then Scouse Ron would never complete a session at the
Leisure Centre! Lots of players come and go over the years but 2003
introduced us to Robbie Westwood a baggies fan who epitomised what
the vets were all about - giving your best and playing the game.
Sadly we lost Robbie 18 months ago but he will always be remembered
here and thankfully we have his son Richard who exhibits those same
attributes. Bryn scored the first goal of 2004 in a session that
brought debuts for Nigel Caldwell and his mate Harry Martin who
spent more time on his arse than our present day resident tumbler,
Rick Pott. 2005 Bryn again with the first goal of 05. Harry Martin
left us for New Zealand and we found a cure for Scouse Ron's
Turrets Syndrome.
2006 saw Tony Moore return to action to become the first ever over
60 Vet to grace the Leisure Centre. Old Jocko Steve Hart became the
first ever foreigner to net the opening goal of a New Year session.
2007 and Keith Proudfoot conjured up the first goal in a year that
saw Keith Mastin become the third Vet to play at 60. This was the
year when we also introduced our tabards'. 2008 Proudy repeated last
years feat by scoring that elusive first goal of the year again and,
United had a penalty awarded against them at OT for the first time
in living memory, Pompey scored and Utd were out of the cup. 2009
and Nigel Caldwell hits the first goal of the year which was also a
landmark for Neil McClelland who completed the Great Manchester Run
in 55 minutes slightly behind Gebreselassie. On the third day of 2010 United were dumped out of
the FA Cup at home to Leeds and Matt Pink rasped in the first goal
of the Vets 5 a side. Keith Mastin bought a pair of Golden trainers
and Proudy took part in the half time Crossbar Challenge at Ewood
Park and, missed. 2011 was a good year, City beat Stretford in the
FA Cup Semi Final at Wembley then returned and won the cup beating
Stoke City. Steve Gerrard scored the first goal of the year in a
game where Dave Vernon made his first appearance for the Vets. So
what's ahead this year - more of the same I hope with continued
support from all the lads who make the effort every week to keep the
football going - Happy New Year. |
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Tonight's Teams
Tonight's Teams
Malc Hough
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Sunday 15th January 2012 : The vets 5 a side was
blessed with a full turn out of three teams this evening which made
for a very enthusiastic 90 minutes. My team kicked the session off
with two fine wins against the Mary's Moaners and the Reds. A
combination of good team work and Matt's appetite for goals looked
to be a sure winner but, a different combination of poor shooting
and Matt's move into goal led to a complete reversal in the next two
games. We did recover our tempo and for me ended up the top side on
the night. The Reds bolstered by three young guns were playing some
very cute football and at times were a real handful.
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Tonight's Teams
Malc Hough
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Tonight's Teams
Malc Hough
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Sunday
29th January 2012 : Due to one of the worst Virus's I've ever
encountered, tonight's report is very short. I'll expand it properly
tomorrow when I've finally made sure the computer is squeaky clean.
The Virus appears with lots of boxes popping up on the screen with
the same message that your HD is faulty followed by a screen that
appears to be a Windows repair tool. It comes under the disguise of
a program called SYSTEM CHECK which is
actually the virus. If you see this (pictured below) you have
already been infected. Once you are infected by
SYSTEM CHECK the program tricks you
into thinking it is a genuine utility which is reporting legitimate
problems with your computer, however it is serious scare ware which
tries to fool you |
Tonight's Teams
Malc Hough |
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This Weeks Teams
John Goodwin Malc Hough |
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Sunday 19th February 2012 :
Much of the usual stuff went on in tonight's 5 a side or
I should say 6 a side with Rick hitting the deck later than usual,
Mike Adrio wearing outrageous footwear, Chris Podmore sharpening up
on his Mary's Moaning skills and Rick Evans taking another thumping
volley on his much damaged beak. My team were in a
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This Weeks Teams
Paul Garner Anthony Graham Malc Hough |
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This Weeks Teams
Paul Garner Malc Hough |
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Sunday 4th March 2012 : A strange session this evening
after starting with three teams of four we lost Zsu Zsu Mastin who
had to leave after 30 minutes to pick up family from the airport.
Personally I would have expected them to get the Trent Bus Service
back to New Mills instead of disrupting our weekly bash, bloody
inconsiderate if you ask me. With Keith and his brood in the middle
of Lent I expect things can get a bit tetchy depending on what they
have given up! After taking a full bloodied volley in the goolies, I
would imagine young Chris Podmore had no trouble deciding what he
would choose to give up on his return home. It was a pleasant change
to see someone other than the ever game Rick Pott get the pain
treatment although, I wouldn't think Podders would agree with me.
Getting back to Lent, I believe it's a time when Christians remember
the 40 days and nights Jesus allegedly spent alone in the desert
without food being tempted by the Devil. The Catholic church
imposes it's followers try to follow the example of Jesus in the
desert by fasting and not indulging in Alcohol. From Zsu Zsu's ever
increasing portly form he has chosen to ignore this recommendation
and support the local chippy! Oh, got sidetracked there so back to the footy. Good to have a couple of the young guns back tonight, Richard in particular played very well linking well with Josh to keep us all on our toes. Phil Butler, looking more like Phil Schofield every week, is getting up to speed and Rick Pott managed to hit the target more often than the roof. Stout defending by Paulo, Nigel and surprisingly Chris Anthony who introduced himself to the other end of the pitch than the one he is more familiar with. I scored a bagful of goals by my own standards with Chris Todd and Mike Adrio also having their share of the action. So, all round decent run out if some what disjointed - only bad point was hearing Stretford had got lucky again at Spurs, ah well. .. |
Tonight's Players |
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Sunday 11th March 2012 : A bad day at the office for
me and Manchester's finest as Stretford beat Rick Westwood's Baggies
and leapfrogged City at the top of the Premier League after they
lost down in South Wales to Swansea. Still there's always a vets
session to cheer us up and most of the Blue persuasion were present
for a good natured slog for ninety minutes at the Leisure Centre.
With eleven willing bodies we made the most of the
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Tonight's Players Paul Garner Keith Mastin Mike Adrio Nigel Caldwell Chris Anthony Malc Hough Chris Todd Rick Pott Keith Proudfoot Dave Vernon Anthony Graham
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Sunday 25th March 2012 : No report from last week
although details are starting to filter through slowly. Seems the
high light of the night was Rick Pott getting a full bloodied volley
from Stevie Gerrard at point blank range in the crown jewels leaving
him in a state of total agony - there are some who still believe we
play this game for pleasure!! |
Last Weeks Players'
Paul Garner This Weeks Teams
Paul Garner Malc Hough |
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Sunday 1st April 2012 : We were privileged tonight to witness
the rebirth of Mary's Moaners as they ripped the opposition to
pieces. The lack of moaning was a bit eyrie but this was
probably the result of playing together in a winning side for once.
Keith Zsu Zsu Mastin gave an excellent display of midfield
playmaking bettered only by myself. Mike Adrio and Dave Vernon were
drafted in to add a little finesse and steel to the three regular
Moaners and they turned out to be the final pieces to the holy
puzzle. Rick Pott left us all gasping yet again when he chose
the |
This Weeks Teams
Dave Vernon
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Sunday 8th April 2012 : A difficult day for me and my fellow
Blues as Stretford United virtually confirmed another Premier League
title as my tired looking City went down to Arsenal after QPR lost
to the dark side. Still runners up isn't such a bad thing and it's
been another very exciting roller coaster ride with more ups than
downs but sadly no trophies.
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This Weeks Teams
Anthony Graham |
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This Weeks Teams
Paul Garner Anthony Graham Malc Hough
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Sunday
22nd April 2012 : An afternoon of destiny as Stretford draw with
Everton at Gold Trafford 4-4 opening the door for the glorious Sky
Blues to move within 3 points of the team from just outside
Manchester. Watching City leading Wolverhampton 1-0 at half time
left me in a dilemma, should I stick around and watch the second
half or should I get my arse in gear and get down to the Leisure
Centre for another 90 minutes of gut busting action with the boys? |
This Weeks Teams
Paul Garner Rick Evans Malc Hough
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This Weeks Teams
Paul Garner Rick Evans |
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This Weeks
Players
Paul Garner
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Sunday
8th January 2012
: It's back at last - fourteen of the guys shook off some of that
Yuletide flab in the first Sunday night thrash of the year 2012.
Chris Podmore became the first young gun to net the opening goal of
any New Year with a neatly taken strike for May's Moaners against my
team. On a night when my team had a collective mare it didn't
detract from the overall ninety minutes which was packed with all
that is good in vets footy. Super goals, great spirit and effort was
the name of the game tonight and it was a pleasure to get back in
the groove. Mike Adrio hit the ground running, well maybe ambling,
and treated us to some incredibly skilful finishes which would not
be out of place on Sky's Showboat slot - unbelievable Teckers!!
I think his team maybe took the honours tonight by a whisker from
Mary's Moaners who all looked sharp and up for it. Paulo ripped in a
bagful but all the team had their moments. Having nicked Matt Pink
off my team the yellows found us easy pickings but hopefully we'll
have him back in the fold next week to relieve Proudy of some the
burden. 
Dan
Bailey looked like he had lost a couple of stones in his black and
white striped shirt (always a great aesthetic slimming aid) but
despite that he had an excellent night all round on the pitch.
Good to see Tom Kannenberg back in the fold, he showed some great
touches and blended in well with the reds team. Mary's Moaners had a
very quiet night failing to find anything to moan about which must
be a first. Paulo and Chris Podmore weighed in with a few goals but
Mike Adrio had to work overtime to keep them in it. Mike had a mixed
night for him but still managed to spank a few rippers in the net.
Sunday
22nd January 2012 : A race back to New Mills from the Etihad was
required to make tonight's 5 a side and it was well worth the rush.
A last minute winner for City caught out many fans, you know the
type, leave 10 minutes early to avoid the traffic but not me - I now
have a tried and tested route home that takes less than an hour
after the final whistle blows. Chris Anthony didn't make it and had
to be replaced in my team by Dave Brown who had a blinder I must
say. We welcomed back Stevie Gerrard for his first appearance since
September last year and Anthony Graham who had a nasty ankle injury
before Christmas. Not too much between the teams this evening as
each game was fought out with great passion. Rick Pott managed to
stay vertical for a full session unlike matt Pink who was the victim
of a ferocious tackle from Rick Evans followed by a double
assassination attempt by Mr Goodwin. Chris Todd joined in the spirit
of things with an outrageous reverse belly flop whilst
unsuccessfully attempting to save a Mike Adrio shot from
hitting the onion bag. Having been jettisoned by Mary's
Moaners to bolster the young guns, Chris Podmore tried to introduce
them to the ancient art of holy whinging but you have to say these
boys play with a smile on their fizzogs and don't go in for the
verbal Buttery's and long may it stay that way. A fine sartorial
example set by Rick Westwood tonight, snappy kit and a severe hair
crop, didn't recognise him early doors, I thought we had another
young gun.
into activating the “fully-functional” version of the software, by
doing this you wasting roughly £30 for a program that does nothing
and you're at risk of having your bank account details compromised
so don’t fall for the scam!
Chelsea
type recession although we did manage a couple of late wins and a
good number of no score draws. This was mainly down to our failing
to hit the target throughout the night, we misfired like an aging
East European Trabants. John Goodwin had a smile as wide as a
hippies flares after being dumped by Mary's Moaners and landing on a
free to join Rick Pott in the young guns squad. With Josh, Richard
and Anthony to do your running it has to be happy days and Johnboy
revelled in his new surroundings finishing the night as top team. As
for Mary's Moaners, they flitted in and out winning few and
losing a few but overall a decent runner up. 
rotation
system with plenty of well matched games and one or two not so well
matched ones thrown in for good measure. With eleven players there's
always one player you never get in your team and for me tonight it
was Zsu Zsu Mastin which was a shame because as the two top
playmakers we would have been devastating. I was lucky to play quite
a few games with Mike Adrio who was in good form although one player
who he definitely gets his come uppance against, Nigel Caldwell, had
an absolute binder from start to finish. Proudy and Chris Todd were
were also on song but for sheer goal grabbing, Rick Pott was almost
unstoppable, poking them in from all angles. A couple of shots
thundered down from the crossbar amid screams that they
crossed the line or not as the case may be which led to calls for
goal line technology to be brought in. We'll have to check how much
our cockney hippie leader can scrape together from the funds to
purchase our own "Hawk Eye" system, then the doubt will be removed
forever and one or two vets will not have to suffer hours of missed
sleep wondering what might have been. 
third minute to reintroduce himself to the floor with a further
tumble only a minute later - this boy is Hard innit. Rick's
team, the young guns, suffered with wayward shooting and as a result
were on par with my own team who in fairness had the same failing.
However the football as usual had many high points including a
stunning Rick Pott headed goal which I felt was harshly ruled out by
the referee as over head height. Talking of referees, the standard
tonight was pretty good with Chris Podmore becoming an accomplished
no nonsense whistler. Good to see the young guns back in action this
evening but Dan the Red's Stretford shirt didn't go down too well
with the Blues on parade. Hopefully Proudy's Rovers will do football
a favour by completing a league double over the team from the dark
side tomorrow night but I won't hold my breath, already I can hear
the fat lady singing as City go from mediocre to errrr.... mediocre.
What
you need when your spirits are lower than an Italian Cruise Ship is
a bloody good run around with your mates at the Leisure Centre and
that's just what we got. With fourteen willing souls choosing to
test themselves on this damp Easter Sunday in a well contested
session of five a side football. As often happens on night's like
this the results paled into insignificance due to the closeness of
the games. Our Leader, the Cockney hippie, picked three very well
matched teams and over the ninety minutes the results just about
evened themselves out. With the young guns split up into the three
teams the old giffers were able to have at least one pair of legs in
their team that didn't leave a snail trail behind them. In my team
we had Dan "the red" Bailey who couldn't resist wearing that awful
Stretford AIG number that clashes so badly with his Orange
trainers. Rick Pott playing for the yellows showed us all how to
give the net some serious damage with a bag full of goals some
of which were quite frankly excellent. Dave Brown and Rick Westwood
backed him up while Nigel Caldwell shored up their defence. Goals of
the night came from Paulo "thunderboots" Garner with two strikes
from his own half that fair fizzed into the net. Not content with
that he kept firing them in from all over the pitch with a fair
amount of success. In my team Proudy kept up a good pace in spite of
playing a 90 minute 11 a side semi final on astro-turf a couple of
days earlier. Unusually the goals in our team were pretty evenly
distributed, a bit like Holland's total football of the eighties. So
other than the Premier League going to the Dark Side a very
enjoyable Easter Sunday, this time last year Chris Anthony and
myself had just returned from Wembley after dumping Stretford out of
the FA Cup in the Semi Final - Happy Days will return!!!
Sunday
15th April 2012 : I thoroughly enjoyed this evenings 5 a side
although personally I played like an old fogie in my opinion, though
to be quite honest I'm just chuffed to be able to still play. My
team were sadly lacking in the goal scoring department, my first one
arriving in Fergie time at 19:04 or the 94th minute. Rick Evans was
our marksman and he's had better nights than this. Dave Brown in
fairness is hitting more goals as he gets in the swing of our Sunday
nights. The top team tonight, Mary's Moaners shadow squad, had the
Luxury of Mike Adrio in their ranks and he added that little bit of
class that they are usually lacking, someone to put their foot on
the ball instead of just lumping it route one. Mike threaded some
real quality passes through with Paulo and Johnboy taking full
advantage, John in particular revelling in the extra service. Mike
had us all rocking with laughter when the opposing keeper threw the
ball into his path and because he had to stretch slightly he called
out, "I don't usually like doing this," inferring he normally
returns the ball to the keeper but this time I'm slotting it.
However his shot rebounded back off the bar but landed straight back
to his feet, this time no mistake, he lashed the ball high
wide and not so handsomely somewhere near the roof - yeeessss. 
Sunday
6th May 2012 : What a day for the Blue side of
Manchester and surrounding areas. A fine win looks like Manchester
City are the new Premier League Champions after beating Newcastle
United away earlier today 2-0. A win against relegation threatened
QPR next Sunday and, let the party begin. Not such a good day for
Proudy and Chris Todd as Blackburn and Bolton both look doomed
unless form side Wigan come unstuck at Blackburn Rovers tomorrow
night. In spite of the gloom from Ewood Park Proudy was whacking 'em
in for fun this evening and pushed Dan Bailey hard for top scorer
over the session. Rick Evans saw his beloved Liverpool come
down to earth at Wembley on Saturday as Chelski turned them over
maybe the reason for his no show. So the boys who turned out tonight
had mixed feelings about the weekends action. Well that didn't
effect the the 5 a side action as 11 of New Mills oldest and finest
went headlong into yet another feast of football. Keith Zsu Zsu
Mastin returned from the Irish Republic but in fairness the most
skilful contribution he made tonight was collecting the money and,
giving myself and Chris Anthony a lecture on how much money City
have spent to ruin the framework of English football (pure
bollocks). Chris Todd returned from watching Bolton and WBA draw 2-2
at the Reebok to put in a bloody fine stint that sadly wasn't
matched by his beloved Trotters. After the 5 a side action he was
off to strut his stuff for a gig with his band, the Carbs. Dan
Bailey also rose above his teams (Stretford United) stuttering
efforts to close the gap on City's superior goal difference to
demonstrate just how to put the ball in the old onion bag. To his
credit he kept banging them in all night including four in one game,
all of fine quality. Chris Anthony and myself were on cloud nine
after our glorious Blues had done the business and our performances
reflected it, well we did OK but to be honest it was just good to be
there tonight. Nice to see Josh Mackie back in the fold, he was
slotting them in like a good 'un in what was a decent enough ninety
minutes.
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