Spotted in a New Mills garden, the ancient Mary's Moaners 9
commandments.
Players of the
Week 2006
23rd July
Steve Gerrard
16th July
Bryn Meredith
9th July
Andy Gartside
2nd July
Keith Proudfoot
18th June
Keith Mastin
11th June
Robbie Westwood
4th June
Jamie English
28th May
Malc Stubbs
21st May
John Goodwin
14th May
Martin Wilde
7th May
Steve Gerrard
30th April
Keith Mastin
23rd April
Ian Lemonzic
16th April
Martin Wilde
2nd April
Keith Proudfoot
26th March
Bryn Meredith
19th March
Paul Garner
12th March
Matt Pink
5th March
Steve Gerrard
26th February
Chris Anthony
19th February
Martin Wilde
12th February
Nigel Caldwell
5th February
Karl English
29th January
Keith Proudfoot
22nd January
Bud Jackson
15th January
John Goodwin
8th January
Tony Moore
Here are the Muppets
Failed again to reach the World Cup Finals
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New Mills Vets
5 a side
football at the
Leisure Centre
17:30 - 19:00
every Sunday
evening.
Come and join us
Just in case you are the slightest bit interested, I have archived the
previous Vets News Pages from January 2001. It's quite interesting
to look back on a few of the events that have occurred during our past
games, some of them amusing and some of them downright sad. Click the
button at the top.
3rd April 2006 : What a refreshing change to this weeks football
fare with Chelsea sent packing in the FA Cup Semi Final by Liverpool
and humour returned to the game with a squirrel running amok on the
pitch during the Champions League game at Highbury on Wednesday
night. It's rumoured that Chelsea have made a substantial offer for
the little critter who passed through the Villarreal defence with
the ease of a ....squirrel!!! The vets meanwhile continue to
turn out in numbers with three teams again tonight giving their all
in a well contested session at the Leisure Centre. Bryn's team with
John, Disley, Martin and Zsu Zsu Mastin played some stunning
football early doors winning their first two games with sweet
passing moves. Myself, Chris, Neil, Karl and Nigel started slowly
but got into the swing of things as the night went on as
did Dan, Bud, Richard, Kevin and Paul Garner, the third side. As
with every week we get a fair few classic goals and this week was no
different, for the second week running I netted from my own half and
Bryn's first of the night, a neat back heeled flick past the keeper
were just two. John managed to reduce Kev English's chest
measurement by a few inches when he slammed the portly Evertonian
into the far corner of the Hall. All good clean fun on yet another
top ninety minutes of football as it should be played.
30th April 2006 : It seems that England's World Cup hopes are in
ruins the moment Rooney hit the turf screaming in agony. The dreaded
metatarsal struck again but England boss Sven-Goran Eriksson is
poised to take Wayne Rooney to the World Cup despite his broken
foot. Sorry Sven but you may as well take Scouse Ron for the use
he'll be. In 18 years of five a side at the leisure centre I can't
recall any player picking up a metatarsal injury, it must be a
modern thing!!
Tonight's football was free of any such drama but all the usual
blood and sweat stuff. Bryn, Martin, Proudy, Matt had me as
their playmaker but didn't always take advantage of my aging skills.
Malc Stubbs, Keith Mastin, John and Paul made up the second
team, Chris, Richard, Dan and Bud the final team. The session
started out with Bryn's team being maybe too strong but as the night
went on both the
other
teams managed to beat them. Proudy's first goal of the night was a
corker when Martin fired a vicious shot that was rising like a
rocket until Proudy's chest stopped it in mid flight and, as
everybody stood rooted to the spot the alert Rovers fan nipped in
and scored. Overall it was a good run out tonight but the sides
weren't particularly well balanced. Hopefully next week we'll revert
to our regular squads and even things up. Hearts battered Celtic
today 3-0 and look like finishing second and qualifying for the Euro
money league so Stevie Hart should be back with us next week all
buoyed up. Steve Gerrard is also near to returning after
illness and hopefully we'll see the return of Scouse Ron. I
don't think I'll be available for the next couple of weeks but the week after I'll
become the second 60 year old to grace the vets after Old Mooro,
with a little bit of luck and good fortune.
7th
May 2006 : The Premier League ground to an uninteresting conclusion
today with the usual contenders finishing in the top four. Steve
McClaren is selected as the new England manager although we haven't
got rid of the last one yet but the rumour of the week circulating
New Mills is the impending retirement of Scouse Ron. Can it be true
that the driving force behind Mary's Moaners will not disgrace the
Leisure Centre again? I for one hope not as to be honest the content
on these pages will be seriously effected.
Tonight's session was a truly memorable one with some of the best
goals seen from the vets for a long time. So many good moves and
finishes in a sterling ninety minutes. The return of Steve Gerrard
to my team made a huge impact, we only lost one game during the
night with Chris and Proudy in particular benefiting from his
input. Paul, Kev English, Malc Stubbs, Dan and Colin Ramwell had
plenty of drawn games but never managed to nail a win. Bryn, John,
Keith Zsu Zsu Mastin, Martin and Bud Jackson blended well and
had some terrific games, they were the only team to beat my side
tonight. Colin also made a good return tonight his first game
since the end of July and a much improved show from Paul Garner
after last weeks mare. More of this football is just what we need to
see, top notch fella's!!
14th May 2006 : An astonishing FA Cup Final yesterday, I can't
remember a better one. Steve Gerrard scored two amazing goals that
left every English fan gasping in awe and looking forward to the
World Cup in 26 days. And Hearts beat the mighty Gretna in the Jocko
Final to leave our only non English veteran, Steve Hart, gasping in
relief and looking forward to the qualifying rounds of the next
World Cup in four years.
All this served to inspire another mega 5 a side session at the
Leisure Centre in New Mills this evening. Robbie returned for his
first start since January and looked like he'd never been away. he
joined Disley, Bud, Richard and Gary to play Bryn, Keith
Mastin, John, Martin and Karl in a reformed Mary's Moaners squad.
Our own Stevie Gerrard, myself, Kevin, Matt and Paul made up the
final and probably most skilful side. The
finishing wasn't as outstanding as last week but as usual one or two
stunners lit up the nights football. Martin fired in a couple of
early pile drivers and Steve was showing his form throughout the
night with some well taken goals. Bryn sporting a new pair of pumps,
looked like Scouse Ron's old ones, sprayed the ball all over the
place including a good number of in offs. Good to see Gary and
Robbie back in the fold, Gary played particularly well tonight. Bud
notched the own goal of the night when he was playing in nets, with
a shot that hit him in the face and as he went down in agony the
ball popped up and rolled over his head and into the onion bag. I think
his new haircut could have been part to blame! Matt certainly made
the save of the night when he stopped a goal bound Martin Wilde shot
and then with the goal gaping Martin hit another which our Paramedic
somehow clawed out, great goal-keeping.
Next Saturday we take to the grass with an 11 a side friendly at
Furness Vale, two o clock kick off. Hopefully we will get a decent
side out and give them a good run for their money. All will become
clear next week. Zou Zou is off on another stunning break, in Wales
so it's a free week next Sunday when with a bit of luck we'll have
enough bodies left fit enough to play.
I bumped into ex vets flying winger Dave Philips this week, the old
lad looks good but as we all know looks can be deceiving.... Dave
reckons football has wrecked his hips which both need replacing,
sounds familiar, ask Brian Shuffler Walton and Clive Taylor two more
vets whose hips no longer shake!!
Furness Vale 1 New Mills Vets
1
attendance : quite a few
20th May 2006 : On opening the local paper this week, naturally at
the sports pages, I couldn't help noticing the rave reports on
Furness Vale our opponents today. 21 points from the last 27 was
pretty impressive so, it was was with more than a little
apprehension that I made my way up to Yeardsley Lane where I had
played for Vale some 35 years ago. Bud Jackson had got 14 of us
together, only three of those played on grass this season and one or
two hadn't kicked a ball this season for the vets. The game
kicked off with the Furness lads looking what they are, a team who
are used to playing together. It took the vets a while to gel but
slowly, very slowly in some cases, they started to get into the
game. Paul Garner and Matt Pink were working tremendously hard in
the middle to keep Vales midfield in check. Lee Whooley made a
couple of superb saves to keep the score sheet blank but it was
getting difficult to get the ball up to Bryn Meredith and Karl
English who were ploughing a lone furrow up front. Matt Pink drove
one over and I hit a trickler at the keeper but in the main Keith
Proudfoot and Gary Evans were working overtime in the heart of the
defence. Kevin English at left back was often left with two players
to mark as tired legs and empty lungs left me stranded up field. On
came Steve Gerrard and Ian Lemonzic on the half hour to sure up the
defence and midfield, both players making an immediate impact.
Half time arrived and the boys came off for a well earned rest and
felt pretty pleased with the 0-0 score line. Second half and
Bud Jackson entered the fray at left back where Simon Waddington had
given a good account of himself. The lack of a half time team
talk didn't affect the lads, in fact as the game went on the Vets
started to push forward more. On 59 minutes Proudy won the ball at
the back and sent Matt Pink forward, Matt played the ball to Bryn
who sent it wide to Steve Gerrard, he took the ball down the left
flank before cutting back a glorious cross into the goal area -
cometh the hour cometh the man, and as the ball evaded all in the
packed area I ghosted in at the back and drilled it into the net,
gooooooaaaaaaalllll 1-0 to the vets. No more than we deserved
for a sterling effort. Furness were stung into action and as
as we all know, you are always at your most vulnerable just after
you've just scored. This was the case with the vets, after a
goal mouth scramble the ball was only half cleared to a grateful
Furness forward who fired the ball home through a crowded area.
The vets were rocked and had to withstand a period of non stop
pressure which they did admirably with Ian Lemonzic and Keith
Proudfoot stopping everything thrown at them. Try as they may
Furness couldn't break the Vets down and had to settle for a 1-1
draw which the Vets thoroughly deserved. I couldn't pick a man of
the match, every body did their bit and a whole lot more but,
Disley, Proudy, Kevin and Lee were all superb in an overworked
defence. A well contested game played in good spirit ably refereed
by Terry Petters. Well done lads, a day to remember, there will be a
few tired bodies at the Leisure centre tomorrow night I fear.
21st May 2006 : After yesterdays heroics eight tired vets
reappeared at the Leisure centre tonight for another 90 minutes of
torture to their bodies, well that was how I felt anyway.
Steve Gerrard, Chris, Proudy and myself formed the first team, Bryn,
John, Karl and Martin the second with Kevin, Jamie, Nigel, Bud and
Richard the final team. Young Jamie showed the rest just how to
score early doors with a fine hat trick, all coolly finished while
we all tried to rip the nets off with some snorting volleys that
threatened to dislodge the building blocks around the goals. Stevie
Gerrard went one better than Jamie with two hat tricks in his last
two games one a 5-4 thriller against Kevin's team.
Three of the English boys on tonight with Kevin, brother Karl and
his son Jamie, that's more than Arsenal had in the Euro Final this
week. Not the best session tonight, the adrenaline was still flowing
from yesterday and things tended to get a bit tetchy but enjoyable
all the same. Kevin got launched into the wall by a classic Goodwin
"nudge" and with the last kick of the night launched into the doors
after a coming together with Martin. Next week should see the return of injured Steve Hart
and hopefully Tony Moore who has now made more come backs than Frank
Sinatra. Zsu Zsu will also be back suitably bleached after yet
another exciting holiday break, this time in deepest darkest Wales. Finally a huge
pat on the back for Paul Garner who played the full ninety minutes
yesterday on a very heavy pitch and this morning, completed the 10K
Manchester Run, quite a feat. Makes you proud to be a New Mills Vet.
28th May 2006 : Well the season is officially over with the last
play off match at the Millennium Stadium this afternoon, except for
a little matter of the World Cup. That certainly looks set to be
another big disappointment with the media drumming up false hopes by
the bucketful. To my mind we are just a bunch of hyped up
overpaid journeymen with a sprinkling of potential top class players
and the magnificent Steven Gerrard. A bit like 1966 I suppose but
with much stronger opposition I don't have the same enthusiasm as
the media, maybe we should just enjoy it for what it is, the best
sporting event on the planet.
Moan over... Thirteen of the lads turned out this Bank Holiday
weekend to enjoy a pretty light hearted session. John, Keith Mastin,
Proudy, Bud, Jamie, Karl, Malc Stubbs, Steve Hart, Bryn, Richard and
myself. We had some good games and a few to forget but on the whole
the rotation system kept things on a slightly less competitive
level. Karl found his scoring touch again with his left foot getting
pretty hot and young Jamie again got his share. Proudy whacked one
in from his own half and Malc Stubbs was on the boil early on. Stevie Hart got
stuck in on his first show for eight weeks and Bud was kicked from
pillar to post by almost everybody except Jamie. Zsu Zsu was a
strange pale colour on his return from Wales but that didn't prevent
him presenting me with my fine "60" shirt in the dressing room
afterwards. It seems a long time ago when Tony Moore and myself even
dared to think about playing when we were 60 but, we both managed it
and I have to admit my next goal is a more realistic 61. As the
managers always say, we'll look no further than the next game.
Next up it's Zsu Zsu Mastin for the 60 club so be gentle with the old cockney
and we'll have a full 60's 5 a side team in no time.
4th June 2006 : World Cup fever is getting stronger by the day,
it seems the World and his brother are about to tune in to the
greatest single sporting event on the Planet. It seems the Jocko's
will all be rooting for anybody but England again, even young Andrew
Murray hopes we fall flat on our faces in spite of the support he
gets from south of the border. This poses the question, what does a
Jock do when Scotland win the World Cup - Answer - put their
Playstation away....
At the Leisure Centre tonight Bryn, Karl, Stevie Gerrard and young
Jamie played myself, Keith Mastin, John and Dan in a 4 a side game.
The benches made their first appearance since August last year and
looked a bit out of practice. In a game of two halves there wasn't
much to separate the teams with only a couple of goals difference at
the end of ninety minutes. Dan whacked in the golden goal decider
for my side to just about take the honours though. Steve was on fine
goal scoring form for Bryn's team and young Jamie gave it a good go
as did his dad. As for Bryn, he took moaning to a new level tonight,
even Scouse Ron couldn't have lived with the non stop chunnering
delivered by our custodian of the law. No wonder they say the law's
an ass.
I was well chuffed with my teams input tonight especially with the
three oldest players on the pitch. The goals were evenly spread out
with John and Dan having the luxury of two playmakers. A decent run
out but we need to get back to three teams next week with Chris and
Martin returning from their hols we should get back to normal.
This time next week we'll know if fat boy Rooney will make the WC
and England will have played their first match on Saturday. If you
live in New Mills and your TV's broke you can always watch the New
Mills Carnival Parade which is on at the same time duuuurrrrrrr!!!!!
11th June 2006 : The World cup kicked off on Friday with the
Germans coming good just like they always do and the following day
England scraping a 1-0 win just like they always do so no surprises
yet. Poor old Scotland decided to arrange a prestige friendly to
placate their jealous fans so we can look forward to the game with
the Krakataun Select XI in the near future.
World Cup frenzy didn't attract the expected deluge of Vets tonight
at the Leisure Centre although I suspect the White Hart did. Bryn,
Keith Mastin, Proudy and Robbie took on myself, John (a newbie), Dan
and Paul. Bryn's team had the edge all evening in an energy sapping
four a side session with the high temperatures taking their toll.
Bryn had an excellent 90 minutes which benefited from Robbies
extraordinary tally of goals. The little fellow was inspirational
even scoring one while I was holding him back. Proudy got on the
score sheet with some very coolly taken strikes. Dan and Paul were
late starters in the scoring stakes for my team but on the whole we
were always playing catch up. Poor old John had a difficult
initiation into the vets football, not having played for over five
years but, with a few more weeks under his belt he'll be fine. All
in all a good run round to keep us ticking over. Next Thursday
England take on the might of Trinidad so by next Sunday we should be
in the last sixteen but who can tell with this lot, I wouldn't bet
on it.
18th June 2006 : Well the boys scraped through to the last 16
with a pretty unconvincing performance against Trinidad and Tobacco
and now face a dilemma in the final game against Sweden. Do we go
for the win to avoid playing Germany or do we lose to avoid playing
Ecuador. I suppose this is what Sven is paid all those
millions for. Will we still be in next Sunday? If we are it will
cock up our Sunday nights football but I suppose even we have to
make sacrifices.
Tonight at the Leisure Centre we had Keith Mastin, Keith Proudfoot,
Karl, Jamie, Chris, Richard, Nigel, John, Dan, Martin and myself. We
had a decent enough session but as the sides were rotated it lacked
the usual edge. Having said that young Jamie and his dad Karl had a
fair old tussle especially when Jamie decked his dad with a classic
tackle his old man would have been proud of if he hadn't have ended
up in a heap while the kid struck for goal. Proudy's silver shoes
again threatened the pointing on the back wall with some howlers.
Chris returned tonight after a few weeks out with back problems and
showed us he hadn't forgot how to net with a couple of neatly taken
angled drives. Martin played like he was still on holiday but all in
all it was well worth the effort this evening. Steve Hart will be
out for a couple more weeks with a strained groin but hopefully
England will inspire a few more of the lads for the next session.
2nd July 2006 : Oh what a difference a week can make in football.
The Nation was awash with hope and
expectation
as we brushed aside Ecuador last Sunday with another pretty awful
display. As a Manchester City fan I am well prepared for a fall from
a great height but surely England wouldn't put us all through the
same emotional roller coaster. Oh yes they would, yet another mind
numbing excuse of a performance by the worlds highest paid players.
Sven Goran Eriksson has taken the piss out of us for 5½
years and walked off with a kings ransom. I suggest Steve McClaren
shows the squad a video of Brazil v France so they can remind
themselves how the beautiful game should be played. Our bunch of
tarts and overpaid jessies should be bloody ashamed of themselves.
Rant over.....
Back to the real action at the Leisure Centre tonight as eight of us
enjoyed a seriously good 80 minutes of four a side. Thanks to
Bryn's excellent team selection tonight the football was fast and tense right
up to the last few minutes with only a couple of goals between the
teams all evening. Bryn, John, Martin and Paul played against
Proudy, Nigel, Bud Jackson and myself. Proudy found himself
teamed up with three old giffers but as we have seen in the past
there is no substitute for experience. It soon became apparent that
the experience would provide Proudy with more than his share
of scoring opportunities which he took with some style. Bryn drove
his team on and led by example with some well taken goals. John and
Martin both found it hard to get the ball past the benches which are
placed across the goals to make scoring more difficult when we have
less then 5 players on each team. Bud excelled in goal tonight where
he had extended spells but overall all the lads put in great effort
to ensure a top notch session won by Proudy's team in the end by a
couple of goals. A thunder storm ten minutes from time blacked out
the lights which meant an early bath for us, just like Rooney
yesterday, sorry rant was over ignore that last remark.
Hopefully next Sunday we will have a good turnout, the World Cup
Final, Germany v France with a bit of luck, doesn't kick off until
20:00 so no excuses lads, have a good run out, shower and out for a
few beers and watch the game. VENEZ SUR LA FRANCE.........
9th July 2006 : Well it's all over, Italy are Champions after a
penalty shoot out. Decent tournament brilliantly organised by the
Germans. Simulating injury and an obsession with trying to get
fellow professionals red or yellow carded has been the only blemish
on a superb event.
The Vets who turned up tonight, another 4 a side session, had a
stiff old workout. Bryn, Richard, Zsu Zsu
Mastin
and myself played Martin, John, Robbie and Andy Gartside. With Zsu
Zsu and myself as playmakers Bryn had a field day getting on the end
of our probing passes. Perhaps with hindsight Zsu Zsu and I should
have been on opposing sides for as hard as Robbie tried, playmaking
is not one of his finest attributes. Consequently Martin, John and
Andy had to forage lone paths in their search for goals. Andy did
manage the goal of the night when he finished off a mazy dribble
with a neat back heel into the net which he followed by pointing to
the Pele on the back of his Brazil shirt, surely Pele was never that
fat!!! Not the best session this evening but a useful run out for
the lads who bothered to turn up, thank goodness the World Cup is
over, it's hit our attendances quite hard. next week we need three
teams and a good old blood and thunder 90 minutes.
Finally, Bud is arranging another 11 a side jobbie with Ferodo Vets,
watch this space.
How to deal with a foul
mouthed Italian No. 1
An occasional series.
16th July 2006 : Just made the ten players we
needed for a vigorous 5 a side work out tonight,
probably the hottest night of the year. Bryn, Zsu Zsu,
Martin, Mike Jackson and Andy Gartside played myself,
Proudy, Chris, Paul and Nigel. Bryn's team just about
deserved the honours at the end of the night although
only four goals ahead after 90 minutes proved how close
the game was. Chris showed he had not lost his eye for
goal although a lack of match fitness was evident at the
end as it was with most of us. Myself and Proudy netted
pretty regularly but we weren't quite good enough to get
ahead of Bryn's team who always just had the edge. Bud
played his usual steady game and Martin is coming back
to form. Considering the heat it was a fine session with
much to be admired. Paul set up Proudy who banged in the
golden goal at the end to salvage a little pride for my
team. Zsu Zsu is off on another one of his his dream
family weekends next week to sunny Southport, if it's
open that is. We could do with a good turnout next
weekend as the funds are a bit on the thin side. Come on
lads get yourselves down and shake off the cobwebs....
How to deal with a foul
mouthed Italian No. 2
These gifs must be
the most circulated pics on the internet....
23rd July 2006 : A
really disappointing turnout tonight with only 7 of us
bothering to make the effort. Still it didn't spoil a
very entertaining 90 minutes of three a side, two touch,
with a ref. The Scouse Ron rotational system for once
worked like clockwork with all the lads getting amongst
the goals and there were plenty of those as we decided
against the benches making another unwelcome appearance.
Paul, Bud, Bryn, John, Martin, Steve Gerrard and myself
gave it a good crack on a very warm night.
Steve looked good on his return to the action and
surprised us all with one astonishing sprint the length
of the pitch to score with his second touch. Paul
enjoyed one of his most prolific scoring bouts for a
long time netting with ease from all angles. I confess
to the miss of the night, with an open net gaping and no
one within 10 yards, I contrived to hit the post with my
second touch much to the amusement of all present, bar
me. Having admitted to that I wasn't on my own
when it came to wayward strikes but that added to the
nights light hearted mood.
Next week we need a more encouraging turn out, not only
for financial reasons but to get that competitive spirit
back into our sessions so come on men, get your arses
down to the Leisure Centre.....