New Mills Vets
 5 a side
football at the
Leisure Centre

17:30 - 19:00
every Sunday
evening.
Come and join us

Just in case you are the slightest bit interested, I have archived the previous Vets News Pages from January 2001. It's quite interesting to look back on a few of the events that have occurred during our past games, some of them amusing and some of them downright sad. Click the button at the top.

15th January 2006 : Oh what a weekend, City gave Uni£ed a footballing lesson again, the Portuguese Ballet dancer got his, and Fergie made a complete arse of himself with behaviour totally unbecoming a Knight of the Realm. It's not often I feel justified in paying £35 to watch a football match but that one was worth double!!  So it wasn't surprising to see most of the Blues down at the Leisure centre tonight.
Steve Hart, Chris, myself, Bud and Malc Stubbs played Bryn, Paul, Martin, Colin and Mooro in the first game and just like last week we raced to a two goal lead only to lose 3-2 with two well struck goals from Bryn and one from Martin. Next game Karl, Disley, John and Zsu Zsu got their first win so it looked like a tight session was on the cards. This was how the evening panned out with most games decided by the odd goal and a fair old amount of draws. Johns team didn't lose until the last game taking the honours as the top team tonight but all in all just the kind of night we all enjoy. Karl and Disley both showed well after their winter break and John played really well in his new team. It looks like Mary's Moaners may have now disbanded after the long term injury to Scouse Ron left them a little light on the moaning front. John now unloaded to another team for the second week running and Zsu Zsu also left out in the wilderness with only old Mooro brought in to steady the sinking ship. Could this be the end?
I hope to have news on Steve Gerrard's injury this week as need him to give my team a bit of a lift. Tonight we became the oldest team to turn out at the Vets sessions with an average age of 52+ and we did OK. Tony Moore had a bit of a muscle pull (in his leg OK) at the end tonight but lets be fair, the guys just had heart surgery, hasn't played for 2 years and is 62 years old and he can still cut it.
The last word on City's 3-1 win yesterday Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssss!!!!!
       City* right click and save target as to download

22nd January 2006 : The gloss had worn off victory over the dark side last week as my glorious Blues went back to their "play when we feel like it mode" and lost to Bolton. Never mind though because when I left for the Leisure centre Liverpool were playing well at Gold Tra££ord and looked the likeliest side to win. It was a case of returning vets tonight with the first appearances this year for Steve Gerrard and Richard.  Steve Hart, Steve Gerrard, Chris, Nigel and myself started this session against Mooro, Martin, Zsu Zsu, Keith Proudfoot and Karl. As usual the first game was a tasty affair and although my team produced all the quality football the more direct approach of Mooro's team won the day with Martin hitting a double. The second game went the same way as Mooro directed his side with great enthusiasm. Bud, Dan, Robbie, Paul and Richard gave it a good go but Tony's team again triumphed. As the night wore on the games became very even with all teams levelling out but as usual there were some fine moments to remember such as Steve Gerrard's goal from inside his own half, Robbie's early strike to inflict Mooro's teams first defeat of the evening and a brilliant save by Bud from a goal bound shot of Martin's.  Although the game was played at a decent pace and with a fair amount of enthusiasm there wasn't a single foul or contentious decision all night which all the lads can be proud of, long may that continue.
On the injury front we hope to see Scouse Ron back soon, maybe even next week,  thankfully Steve Gerrard's ankle held up well tonight and with Mooro looking to step up his fitness in the gym things are looking rosy. One of these weeks we are going to get a real bumper turnout considering Bryn, Ron, Disley, John (in Thailand), Matt, Malc could all be down next week.
As we all traipsed out of the sports hall we were greeted by the news of Uni£eds last minute winner, didn't you just know that would happen!

Left to right - Martin, Mooro (on the ball), Dan, Paul, Proudy, Richard, Bud, Robbie (in goal), Zsu Zsu

29th January 2006 : After last weeks excellent turnout it was a bit of a surprise when only 12 of the lads showed tonight at the Leisure Centre. Uni£ed were on the box in the cup but both our reds came down. Keith Proudfoot, Richard, Dan Bolton, Paul, Colin and myself played Keith Zsu Zsu Mastin, Matt Pink, Bud, Nigel, Karl and Martin in a six a side session. As usual the games were contested well and just as last week without any unsavoury incidents. Pass of the night was Nigel's defence splitter almost the whole length of the hall for Matt to run onto and fire home. Proudy was back to his best scoring form along with Dan but the Colin eclipsed everybody by netting five in one game, considering each game is only 5 minutes long this is no mean feat. The best goal of the night though had to be Matt's superb volley into the top corner which left everybody gasping, all that was missing was Scouse Ron's, "how boring is that?"  Karl who had played earlier in the day for Hayfield was on his knees at the end but, his never say die attitude rewarded him with a couple of superb late strikes. At the end of the night Proudy's team just about edged it by a couple of games but a worthy nights football hopefully was enjoyed by all.
After all the action Janice and I met up with my brother and sister in law for a curry at the excellent little Indian restaurant, the Bombay Cafe, in Chinley close to New Mills. What a superb way to end a fine night, good food, good company and a few glasses of wine - all I can ask for now is a decent draw in the FA Cup tomorrow for the glorious Blues, anyone at home will do!!

5th February 2006 : Eleven tonight at the Leisure centre so it was back to the Scouse Ron Rotation system with one player dropping to referee each game and returning on the opposite side. The only problem usually with this system is a certain lack of competitive games but tonight that didn't seem to matter. It wasn't surprising to see Robbie down tonight as West Brom  were victorious yesterday although the little feller was disappointed that Proudy wasn't there to talk over the finer points of the match. He also bagged a brace this evening, the same as the Baggies yesterday. Karl also had a smug grin on his chops as Everton had gained a narrow victory over the not so glorious City Strollers. He had a certain spring in his step as he set on a one man scoring mission later on in the session, his left foot was blessed. Steve Gerrard also hit the net with some class strikes tonight and a good few defence splitting passes that weren't always given the finish they deserved. Martin looks better each week as his fitness returns, he combined well with Disley and Paul Garner. Chris, Richard, Keith Mastin and Dan all played their part in another fine nights footy.
No Steve Hart again tonight, probably still pinching himself after Heart's gave Hibernian a good drubbing last weekend. Still no sign of Scouse Ron's return and Mooro's comeback looks like its hit the buffers. Bryn seems to have gone awol but hopefully John will be back from Thailand next week rested and raring to go, so we can get back to three teams again with any luck. The guys who follow on after us only had four senior players tonight, a real shame as they started at the same time as we did all those years ago but have not been able to keep the numbers up. Maybe they should join us with a team of their own??

12th February 2006 : I wish football would start to go backwards to a time when all games kicked off on a Saturday afternoon at 3pm and you could then go about your weekend. Instead we have our teams kicking off Saturday lunchtime, 3pm, tea time and the same on Sunday with mid day games and 4pm kick offs as was the case today when City played Charlton. Just as Samaras headed City into a 2-1 lead I had to leave for football at the Leisure Centre. I used to love my Sunday league football but it must be a nightmare these days getting a full turn out. Thankfully eleven bodies felt the need for our Sunday evening session in spite of the tempting alternate attractions. Bryn was back tonight with Keith Mastin, Proudy, Martin, Paul, Karl, Nigel, Steve Gerrard, Steve Hart, Richard and myself. We played the same system as last week and it proved to be a good choice as all the games were well contested and very even. Nigel had his best game for a long time looking the business. Bryn started off like a steam train netting with his first touch looking like he'd never been away and followed up with a couple of superb curlers into the corner but, after about half an hour he looked more like a Thomas the tank engine as fatigue set in and his shooting became life threatening to the spectators on the balcony.  Proudy was looking sharp as he stuck the ball in from all angles and Martin as usual added his four penneth.
We all noticed Robbie chose not to appear tonight after the Baggies reverted to their normal form yesterday but mystery surrounds the absence of John "assassin" Goodwin after his Thai holiday. The popular theory is he has met a lady boy and is training him up for the Sunday night sessions. No Mooro again tonight, is this the end or is the old boy saving himself. 
Next Sunday City kick off at 6.30pm, half an hour before the end of our session, 6.30pm on a bloody Sunday night, it's time it was stopped - please can we have our game back Sky? 

19th February 2006 : Three teams tonight at the Leisure Centre with Bryn, Martin, Keith Mastin, John (lightly tanned) and Richard reforming a Mary's Moaners team. In the first game they played against Kev and Karl English, Paul, Nigel and Dan Bolton and a good game it turned out to be with Bryn and Martin netting early. Proudy, Neil, Chris, Steve Hart and myself started off like sloth's and got gubbed accordingly by the moaners who were looking a decent bet for a clean sweep. After two more wins on the trot it was definitely on. It came as a great relief when my team notched our first win against them to stop their gallop. Things became a lot more even after this but the moaners just about shaded the honours on the night. Neil banged in the best goal of the evening when he volleyed a sweet drive into the net from inside his own half, in fact Neil proved to be our best player on the night with some very calm defending and great distribution. Overall a decent enough session with only a few dust ups including Karls attempt at removing Johns head after a bit of handbags. Just enough edge to keep us on our toes. Most of the City fans were down tonight so as the last game finished it was a rush to catch the last hour of the game at Villa Park, worth it too as the lads fought out a decent draw to earn a replay. Old Mooro has been on a break to Malta (don't all the old giffers go there in the winter months?) so hopefully he should be back doddering about with us soon.

23rd February 2006 : All the Uni£ed fans were
missing tonight at the Leisure Centre. Bud was spotted in the White Hart with a fag in one hand and a pint in the other, celebrating Uni£ed's victory in the Carling Cup final against mighty Wigan. I don't know whether it was the victory itself or the fact that after all these years they've now won it as many times as my glorious Blues, twice!! Dan was at the Millennium Stadium so he'll no doubt be down next week in his new Carling Cup 06 replica shirt. Five a side this week with the teams swapping about a bit and a pretty good ninety minutes to boot. Keith (Zsu Zsu), Chris, Karl, Kevin, Matt, Paul, Steve Hart, Martin, John and myself gave it a good go. Kevin is slowly getting back into the thick of things with a couple of seriously skilful goals. Stevie Hart re-united with his traditional Hearts maroon jersey, had a permanent smile all night probably brought on by yesterdays shock win for the Jocko's against England in the Six Nations game. Chris rediscovered his scoring form with some tasty strikes from his favourite right wing position earning him an overdue player of the week spot just pipping Karl, who also hit some real snorters from the opposite flank.  So an all round good nights footy with the promise of a bumper turnout next week because it's a FREE WEEK.  Zsu Zsu is in the land of Diddly Diddly but hopefully the Uni£ed fans will be back and if West Brom can win at home to Chelsea on Saturday we may even see Robbie. I'll be off to the COMSTAD to watch the glorious Blues in a Sunday thriller against Sunderland, here we go again 1:30pm KO so I predict the lowest Premiership crowd for a game at the COMSTAD presently 40,808 v Spurs this season.

5th March 2006 : City played at 1:30pm today against Sunderland in a totally uninspiring game but I did manage to get back in time for the Vets session at 5:30. I was joined by 14 other good men in another seriously good nights football. Neil joined my regular team mates Chris, Steve Hart, Steve Gerrard and myself in the first game against St Mary's Moaners who featured Bryn, Bud, John, Martin and Richard. For a change we managed to win the first game with Steve Gerrard on the mark early doors. In our second game against Karl, Paul, Matt, Dan and the fast improving Nigel we fought out a 2-2 draw. The next game saw Dan and Karl going goal crazy against the moaners winning 6-2, pretty good going in 5 minute games. In spite of this result the Moaners came back to take my teams unbeaten run off us with a 3-2 win and generally over the evening all the games were finely balanced.  Bud rapped one in from the half way line which got the applause it deserved but for me the goal of the night was in the last game when we had a few minutes left over so played the golden goal. Matt picked up the ball on the half way line as Neil and myself drove him into the corner, from nowhere Matt unleashed a corker into the far top corner past an astonished Steve Gerrard.
I have to admit I enjoyed the football tonight a good few notches more than the stuff served up at the COMSTAD today and as it was a free night it didn't cost anything. What more can you ask for??

12th March 2006 : As the snow covered the Peak District again this week end 13 of the guys braved the elements to play another great session of 5 a side at the Leisure Centre. Bryn, John, Paul & Martin started well by beating my team of Keith Proudfoot, Chris, Richard and myself 3-2. Bud,  Matt, Dan, Nigel and Keith Mastin then entered the fray by beating Bryn's team thanks to a couple from Matt. The teams were excellently selected by Zsu Zsu to give us another very even nights football with no team standing out although, but for an attack of Liverpoolesque striking my team could well have dominated. Good performances from Paul, Nigel, Martin and Richard but for sheer style no one could match Matt who surely is one of the most skilful players to grace the vets nights. It is often said that as a younger player he should stand out but in my opinion he is just a very good player, so good in fact that we may approach him when the transfer window reopens and offer him a permanent place in my regular squad to keep us on our toes.
Harry Martin dropped me an email this week from New Zealand wishing to be remembered to the lads. He's dropped the football and now plays Badminton, a girlie game if you ask me. If you read this Harry the lads want to know if you play Badders on your arse like you played football. All the best Harry.
Big cup replay at the COMSTAD on Tuesday night, Chris and I are both going and we both agree, anything could happen....  I'm taking my grandson so hopefully they will give him something, better than they've served up in the last few weeks.

19th March 2006 : With 16 vets tonight we chose to play three teams, one with six in their squad. Bryn's team fought out a good draw in the first game coming back from two down against Matt, Nigel, Paul, Kevin, Karl and Andy Gartside.   Bryn, John, Zsu Zsu, Bud and Disley made up the second team whilst myself, Keith Proudfoot, Steve Gerrard, Steve Hart and Chris completed the line-ups.
Whilst the football was keenly fought all evening there was a serious amount of pressure put on the various referees, probably caused by the keenness to win the games. Nothing over the top a la Chelsea and Man Yoo but enough to cause a little concern. Being the only qualified referee on the pitch I could see the problems from both sides. It reminded me of when I first took up the black shirt and whistle in the Manchester Sunday league, our instructor told us to always remember that the referee was always right, even when he was wrong. I think this advise still holds good today.
On the football side Matt and his team were unbeaten tonight and played some pretty slick football. The English brothers both showed well especially Karl in his fluorescent yellow shirt. Bryn took a nasty knock towards the end tonight accidentally clashing knees with Matt, hopefully he'll be back next week to show off his bruises just as Bud did this week. He had a huge bruise on the top of his leg which was the result of trying to stop me in full flight, immoveable object verses overweight old biffer. Proudy and Stevie Gerrard carried my team tonight as we struggled to build on our one victory. We did manage a few draws but were just a tad short on goal scoring. Bryn's team did OK but failed to get that win against Matt's team. Next week we are missing the playmaking skills of our leader Zsu Zsu who's treating his family to a dream holiday break in..... Scarborough, well it beats Ireland I suppose, just. Anyway the bonus is it's a FREE WEEK again next week so here's to another ripping session, whatever the refereeing's like.

26th March 2006 : Eleven of the lads decided to drag themselves away from Mothers Day celebrations tonight for a decent session of 5 a side. Bryn, Kevin, Steve Hart, Richard, Bud, John, Dan, Martin, Paul, myself and SCOUSE RON returning from injury. Everyone was pleased to see Ron back, well nearly everyone, well a few of us, OK I'm sure some one was. Well the old groaner certainly did OK on his first night since 6th November 2005, is it really that long,  including a strike from his own half, the odd little nudge and more than a few quality goals. Most of us agreed afterwards in the "boot room" that the Sunday night's aren't quite the same without the Kirby crawler, one of the boys even said the sports hall was the perfect place for showing off his main talents, the acoustics in there are second to none. Not much more to say about the session tonight other than it followed the recent pattern of competitive football played in good spirit throughout. More than the usual amount of goals scored form the half way line including a rare one from me. I wonder if the new lighting system installed this week had anything to do with that.
Next week I'm off to North Africa for a cruise down the Nile and a week in a 5 star jobbie for some r&r and a bit of extra training. Next report will appear on 13th - 14th April with a guest writer standing in for me. Enjoy your footy lads while I sink a few cool beers.....Hopefully Zsu Zsu will be back from Scarborough, tanned and rested and ready to re-form (not reform) the Mary's Moaners.

Here's the RA II Nile river cruiser and Le Meridian Hotel in Luxor where I'll be spending the next two weeks.

2nd April 2006 : With Houghie sent to Egypt for mid-season training in the hope of overcoming his dip in form, now in its sixth year, the 14 vets who turned up at the Leisure Centre on the 2^nd April were able to raise their game to new heights of speed and technique. Three teams were formed – Mary’s Moaners comprising Zsu Zsu, Bryn, Johnboy, Carl and Martin; Houghies Puffers having Chris, Proudy, Stevie G, Richard and a borrowed keeper, and Paul’s Purrers playing with Nigel, Bud, Matt, Danny and Paul himself. For the first time scores were kept of each match and are reproduced below. Fifteen matches and 41 goals, with Mary’s Moaners coming up trumps. Goal of the night had to be Carl’s  - a running pass to Bryn on the right wing, who backheeled it back, leaving Carl to hammer it left-footed into the corner from near the halfway line.

RESULTS Mary’s Moaners     2        Houghies Puffers    0 Mary’s Moaners     2        Paul’s Purrers         3 Paul’s Purrers          1        Houghies Puffers    0 Mary’s Moaners     2        Houghies Puffers    2 Mary’s Moaners     2        Paul’s Purrers         1 Paul’s Purrers          0        Houghies Puffers    1 Mary’s Moaners     2        Houghies Puffers    2

Mary’s Moaners     2        Pauls Purrers          0 Paul’s Purrers          1        Houghies Puffers    1 Mary’s Moaners     3        Houghies Puffers    2 Mary’s Moaners     2        Pauls Purrers          1 Paul’s Purrers          0        Houghies Puffers    2 Mary’s Moaners     0        Houghies Puffers    0 Mary’s Moaners     0        Pauls Purrers          2 Paul’s Purrers          3        Houghies Puffers    2

 9th April 2006 : With Scouse Ron still missing, another quiet and peaceful evening at the New Mills Leisure Centre, broken only by the usual grunting and a quick skirmish between Carl and Proudy's mate Paul following some kicking and scratching. Three teams were formed from 14 players – Mary’s Moaners having Zsu Zsu, Bryn, Johnboy, Carl and Martin; Houghies Puffers playing Chris, Proudy, his mate Paul, Stevie Hart and Nigel and Paul’s Purrers coping with Bud, Clive, Lee, Paul himself and a borrowed keeper. Fifteen matches and 46 goals, with Mary’s Moaners scoring 20 and maintaining their supremacy from last week. Much credit goes to Nigel, who played his bollocks off to little effect, to Bud for the save of the evening and to Martin and Karl for thunderbolts which outclassed Wayne Rooney's effort at Old Trafford an hour earlier. Overall a good evenings work.

With Houghie back on Easter Sunday there's a real threat that the quality of play we've enjoyed these last two weeks won't be seen for a while.
 

RESULTS Paul’s Purrers      0 Houghies Puffers 1 Mary’s Moaners 3 Houghies Puffers 1 Mary’s Moaners 3 Paul’s Purrers      1 Paul’s Purrers      1 Houghies Puffers 0 Mary’s Moaners 2 Houghies Puffers 0 Mary’s Moaners 1 Pauls Purrers       0 Paul’s Purrers      1 Houghies Puffers 3 Mary’s Moaners 1 Houghies Puffers 3 Mary’s Moaners 4 Pauls Purrers       2 Paul’s Purrers      1 Houghies Puffers 3

Mary’s Moaners 1 Houghies Puffers 1 Mary’s Moaners 2 Pauls Purrers       3 Paul’s Purrers      0 Houghies Puffers 2 Mary’s Moaners 2 Houghies Puffers 1 Mary’s Moaners 1 Paul’s Purrers      2                                P  W  D  L   F   A  Mary's Moaners 10  6   1   3  20  14  Houghies Puffers 10  5   1   4  15  12  Pauls Purrers       10  3   0   7  11  20

Many thanks to Zsu Zsu our guest reporter for a sterling job and a new innovation - stats!!  I can't promise to match the accuracy of the statistics but I can promise to change the name of Houghies Puffers. I must admit I am in favour of regular squads as they tend to add a competitive edge to the games, judging from last week a little too much edge - only the fourth time punches have landed since we started in June 1988. I'm looking forward to this weekends hostilities although my speed training in Egypt was interrupted by a sand storm and uncommonly high temperatures, I'll have to rely on skill!!!

16th April 2006 : Easter Sunday and what better way to spend it than an outstanding session of 5 a side at the leisure centre with your mates. Keith Zsu Zsu Mastin, Bryn, John, Martin, Chris, Bud, Karl, Jamie, Nigel, Andy Gartside and myself were the players tonight. The games flowed brilliantly with some outstanding goals from most of us in a surprisingly competitive evening considering we were rotating the teams. Bryn and Chris seem to have found their goal scoring form again and young Jamie showed his dad Karl how to slot in the goals and gave a very good account of himself. Zsu Zsu Mastin continues to defy all the rules of equilibrium with an abundance of saves while in goal, making a special effort to deny me in particular on several occasions. All in all well worth turning out tonight with Karl receiving his Lonsdale Belt for last weeks performance and Keith Mastin being nominated for the Booker Prize for his humorous entry into journalism over the past fortnight.

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